Things I Own You Can Get On Cyber Monday

Oh no, not another hashtag Cyber Monday post, amirite? 

It's not. Don't worry. 

Instead of boring you with a slew of affiliate links to stuff Nordstrom sells for only $2 more the rest of the year, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things that are on sale today that you may not see other places. I love recommending things. In fact, it might be the 6th love language - unsolicited advice. It's why I'm in so many Facebook groups, because there's always some clueless girl that needs my help!

Charleston Shoe Co: All Shoes $99

Left: The Monterey. Right: Benjamin

Left: The Monterey. Right: Benjamin

My beloved Monterey Sandals from Charleston Shoe Company took me all over Paris and Nice this summer! They're made of super cushy soles, and the stretchy material makes them near blister-proof. The Monterey is always $100 though, so a buck off isn't exactly something to write home about. However! If the clunky, fashion-forward sandal deemed "cool" by the knuckleheads over at NYMag isn't your thing, they have a huge selection of other styles that are usually much more expensive - and rarely on sale. I recommend the Easton, Seabrook, or the Tybee!

And yes, they're total grandma shoes and yes, they're comfy as all get out so I don't care.

Puppies Make Me Happy: 30% OFF

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I can't take credit for this one. My friend Kristie snapped herself at the gym wearing this shirt and I've been obsessed ever since. Not only are their tanks SUPER soft, there's something for everyone. I couldn't find any photos of me in one since I mostly just wear them to work out or lounge in, but I'm probably going to snag the "Pet All The Dogs" sweatshirt today. Use code VIRTUALPUPPIES.

Fur & Collar: 20% off $40

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And speaking of puppies, Fur & Collar has expanded its wares beyond breed tees and into socks, totes, mugs and more! They're doing 20% off orders over $40 today with code CYBERMONDAY2017. The tees are super soft and make great gifts for dog lovers! 

Olaplex: Free Shipping

Okay, this deal is lame but I swear by Olaplex No. 3 Hair Protector for anyone who does chemical or heat damage to their hair. Code CYBERMONDAY. They almost never run sales so something is better than nothing.

Kylie Cosmetics: 30% Off

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You know I love my Kylie Lip Kits! 30% off isn't the best sale she's done (I really love the BOGO ones tbh) but it's a good time to snag some for you or someone you love.

Betabrand: Up to 60% Off

Betabrand's sale is AMAZING if you've been wondering about them! I personally own the Red Eye hoodie and love it for travel. I'm planning on snagging some of the yoga dress pants! If you're unfamiliar, Betabrand is sort of a crowd-sourced clothing company, with heavy focus on comfortable travel and work clothes. It's a good chance to try something from the brand for a way, way lower price.

eBags: Up to 75% Off Doorbusters

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I've been a huge eBags fan since I ordered their Packing Cubes a few years ago, and they're having a great sale today! I use the Professional Slim Jr Backpack for work - it's super slick looking and can hold my laptop, iPad, headphones, DSLR...it's a great little bag for travel and work and on sale for only $62! I think I paid like $90. I recommend the classic packing cubes and the pack-it-flat toiletry kit for jet-setters.

Elizabeth & Clarke: 30-50% Off

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You've probably seen a LOT of Elizabeth & Clarke in my "What I Wore" monthly posts, and it's because their stuff is AWESOME. It's perfect for the working woman who also occasionally spills stuff all over herself. Pieces from Their Archive section (past selections) are 50% off today - including the Unstainable collection! I recommend The Davis, The Charles, and The Arden - they're some of my favorites and most worn (pictured in that order above).

What Cyber Monday deals have you scooped up today?

2017: The Year Denim Jumped the Shark

"The skinny jean is dead!" declared joyous fashion editors in 2016 (or was it 2015?). Finally, we could ditch those ugly, sensible jeans that looked good with heels or flats, on tall or short, curvy or not, and wear something more EXCITING. Audrey Hepburn never wore a pair of cropped flares, so what did she know about fashion? NOTHING. 

And then, 2017 rolls around and something phenomenal happens...everyone has lost their ever-loving minds. I'm calling it now - denim, as a whole, is officially dead. We are truly living in the darkest timeline.

1. Clear Knee Jeans, $95.

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We thought this was the height of fug. When these jeans hit Topshop's online shelves, they were immediate Buzzfeed fodder. I scoured Pinterest to see if anyone bought these ugly things and guess what?? Nope. No one saw the need to show off their sexy knees. Which, by the way, isn't a thing. Google "ugly celebrity knees" and tell me that people should be wearing clear knee jeans. They're the first thing to go.

2. Clear Jeans. Totally clear. Yep, $210.

Not to be outdone, many companies decided to mass produce jeans that were made entirely of plastic. Never mind that they'd steam up the first time you stepped foot outside in summer! What do you wear under these? I mean, holographic underwear *IS* an inspired choice, but in what world would I be like, "Hey, this is a good idea. I can NOT wear pants while WEARING PANTS. Let's find out which parts of my body sweat the most!"

3. Garter Jeans, $505.

Ever feel like what the world needs is more butts? Me either. I'm blaming West World for the modern chaps vibe.

4. Zipper Jeans, $1870.

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Bathrooms are hard to navigate. Make it easier by putting a zipper on every fabric surface! Who doesn't want a fully unzippable crotch? Bonus: the fit is flattering in the same way the Derelicte collection from Zoolander was feasible. Oh, wait! It basically is now.

5. Patchwork Jeans, $2390.

These are actually the least offensive of the whole group, besides the price. If you've got $2400 burn and a nostalgic yearning for the 90's, you too can be a walking Gucci monstrosity. You'll look amazing at Burning Man. Everyone will envy you, until you cut them off because it's 1000° and you need to barter the bell bottoms for water.

6. Whatever these things are, $575.

DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF WHY. Not only am I perplexed by how these would even stay up without a waistband - is "Pirates of the Caribbean Chic" the next big thing in fashion? Stay tuned.

7. Inside Out Jeans, $209.

Kris Kross'll make you...turn your jeans inside out, because you spilled red wine on them at lunch and don't want anyone at work to think you're an alcoholic. 

Follow up question: Do I put my wallet on the inside?

8. More Ruffle Jeans, $360.

Nothing says, "I'm a functioning adult!" like flamenco denim. Honestly, I was shocked to discover that these were not, in fact, toddler jeans, but pants for a grown woman with $360 she either has to spend or eat whole.

9. Lace Up Jeans, $625.

In the wake of the very popular lace up top from last summer, LACE UP JEANS are the latest thing to hit the streets. I hate these so much, I can't even come up with a joke for them. Talk about needing to tie up loose ends. *badum ching*

10. The Insta-Jorts, $425.

And finally, the pièce de résistance, THE CONVERTIBLE JEAN JORTS. Yes, these Opening Ceremony nightmares pop their legs off so you can prance around in an adult denim diaper. You hear that sound? That's the aliens turning their ships back around and deciding nope, we're not gonna contact Earth after all.

At this point, I should be glad people are wearing pants at all (I'm looking at you, Ariana Grande). If you need me, I'll be over here in my jeggings. And heck yeah, I affiliate linked some of these jeans. If I have to look at these things, I should at least get that 2 cents from you clicking on them. Better yet, if you buy those Gucci jeans, I'll take you out for a drink with the commish.

VIVA LE MOM JEANS!

Sometimes I Shop :: May Trunk Club Review

It's time for another Trunk Club review! I've gotten a few the past couple of months I haven't reviewed fully, because my stylist Jayme and I were on two different pages for spring. Warmer weather is hard to shop for, but she sent a top-knotch Trunk this week and I can't wait to share it with you!

For those of you who don't know, Trunk Club is a personal shopping service that sends you a giant box of clothes and shoes hand picked by your stylist so you can try everything on at home and send back what you don't want. It's so much more personalized than services like Le Tote or StitchFix, because you can message back and forth with your stylist; you even preview your trunk before she ships it and choose what to send, and what you're not loving. If you want to try it, you can sign up here.

The packaging, of course, is always so lovely and it's free to ship and return. Trunk Club has honestly become one of my favorite ways to discover new brands and styles. Here's what Jayme sent this month:

Ruffle Detail Floral Print Tank, Lush, $35

Cute summery tank from Lush, a brand I am really starting to love. Their stuff is cute but very affordable! I passed on this since it wasn't a huge need, but I liked it.

Side Ruched Body-Con Dress, Treasure&Bond, $59

This dress was one of the things in my preview Trunk that I LOVED, and it did not disappoint. There's ruching all down the side so it's a flattering fit, but it's a super soft jersey material that will be clutch for the summer. KEPT IT. I also ADORED these espadrilles...

Marcey Espadrille, Paul Green, $299

...but the price tag is just too steep for right now. I'm going to put them on my wishlist and hope for a sale before summer is over. Not only were they SO COMFY, the little ties were just too cute. I had never heard of Paul Green before, but these shoes seem very well made! See what I mean about new brands? I don't know if I would have picked these out for myself, but they were one of my favorite items and terribly difficult to let go.

Frayed Hem Side Slits Denim Shorts, STS BLUE, $39

STS Blue is another new brand to me, but I'm definitely going to check them out again! I kept these super soft, stretchy cut-offs and imagine I'll be wearing them all summer long. For $39, I am thrilled - especially since I bought some size large shorts from Forever recently that I couldn't even get over my thighs.

Block Stripe Split Back Top, Two by Vince Camuto $59

Do you ever have that thought when you're shopping that something is cute, but maybe not $59 cute? That's how I felt with this top. I actually think the style is really unique with the split back, but there were other things in the box I wanted more so I passed on this one. JUST BARELY...I may have been influenced slightly by my husband. When I told him I got another Trunk, he said, "Oh wow, I can't wait to see what striped shirt you buy to go with all of your other striped shirts." Insert *monkey covering his eyes* emoji here.

Grace Slide SandalSteve Madden, $49.95
Taya Espadrille Flat, Dolce Vita, $119.95

Jayme sent these other two pairs of flats, which were only so/so for me. I recently got a pair of black "X" slides similar to the Steve Maddens, and I felt like they showed too much toe. The Dolce Vita espadrilles were cute, but a little snug. Both passes.

Dress, No idea, no idea the price, can't find it anywhere.

No idea where this dress is from, because I didn't save the little card like an idiot blogger. It wasn't really flattering, but it had pockets. However....I basically have this dress already anyway, so it was a pass. Ugh, just realized this dress makes me look pregnant. HARD pass, then.

This was another hard pass for me. While I appreciate what she was trying to do here, the whole thing was overwhelming on my frame and way too boho for my liking. I felt like I was about to go down to a river to be baptized by someone in overalls. Or sacrificed. Either/or.

Surprise! You know what I definitely needed? Another black top. Whatever, this one from Lush was SO reasonably priced and I love the longer back thing it's got going on. In fact, I put on both these shorts and this top to take my Trunk to UPS.

Three things from Trunk Club this time, not too shabby! If you haven't done Trunk Club before, please consider using my referral link; I'll get a credit to use on my next one, and then you can share the wealth with your friends with your referral link. They charge a $25 styling fee to send a Trunk, but that is applied as a credit to whatever you buy. Nordstrom Card users get Trunks for FREE, fyi, if you're thinking of becoming a cardholder! 

Who's gotten a Trunk and reviewed it lately? Shoot me your links below! And if you'd like to see the Trunks I've gotten in the past, you can find them here.