Why I'm Bringing Back the Skort

Arkansas summers are hot. That's not a surprise, considering it's the south, but now that I walk a lot more I've noticed a disturbing trend - wearing skirts inevitably ends in chubrub®. Sure, I'd love to lose about 100 lbs so my thighs no longer touch and I don't have this problem anymore, but that's not gonna happen, so I had to find a better solution.

*clumsy woman fumbles with sauce jar* THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY! 

For some reason, I was randomly wandering around Belk a few weeks ago (BB likes their shirts and we were in the neighborhood) and I stumbled on the world's most perfect invention: The Skort. I remember them vaguely from my childhood in the 80's, the original "business in the front (skirt), party in the back (shorts!)." These were so much better, though. The shorts...were inside of the skirt.

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I've worn spanx to keep my thighs at bay this summer, which leads to lots of sweating and being uncomfortable, so a lightbulb went off in my head when I saw these. They would be perfect for work, perfect for walking to work, and perfect for traveling. I bought them in black and white.

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While the length might be a little too short for taller girls and more conservative workplaces, I typically can get away with higher hemlines thanks to my height. The material is a glorious, stretchy suiting material and they pull on - no zippers, buttons, nothing. SO. COMFY.

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WOULD YOU EVEN HAD KNOWN IF I HADN'T TOLD YOU THERE WERE SHORTS UNDER THERE?

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Surprise!

These particular skorts are from a brand called Kaari Blue, which appears to be a Belk exclusive (read: in house) brand. I wasn't able to find them on the website, so check your local store - they were only $15! Here's a similar skort I found at Belk. Belk seems to be the skorts capital of the world, and I'm just going to continue to lean into the fact that I am a 90 year old lady now.

Seriously though, embrace the skort with me. I took the white pair to France and it was amazing to be able to walk without rubbing, bike if I needed to without showing everything, bend over, sit in weird places, etc etc etc. Join me on the dark side.

 

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Sometimes I Shop :: August Trunk Club Review

Time for another Trunk Club review! This time, I asked my stylist Jayme to fill a box with some cute stuff to wear on our upcoming vacation. I have a pretty good handle on what I'm going to pack, but since she had sent me a trunk anyway and I have some credit with them, I decided to see what she could come up with. 

If you're new to Trunk Club, it's an at-home personal styling service owned by Nordstrom. You have a direct line to your own personal stylist, so you can call them, chat with them, and even send them your Pinterest boards. If there's something in particular you're looking for (say, a black dress), your stylist can send you several options to try on in the comfort of your own home. Try everything on, keep what you want, and send back the rest! I've found that Trunk Club is HIGHLY more personalized than the other styling services I've used, and I love that they include the more affordable Nordstrom brands like Treasure & Bond and Halogen.

No shoes this time, so it was a cute small box full of dresses, tops, and shorts for my upcoming trip to Paris and Nice. Let's try on!

Knotted Sleeve T-Shirt Dress, PST by Project Social T, $49.

Jayme knows I love black dresses - especially t-shirt dresses, since I've bought at least three from her already. This is a light, summery tee dress with a really cute little cutout detail on the sleeve. It's a little similar to the one I own from Calston, so I passed.

Charmer Slipdress, Sincerely Jules, $129.

Can I say that this legit felt like a nightgown? In a good way - I know a lot of blogger's clothing lines can be hit or miss on quality, but this was very well made and SO soft. It definitely hugs the curves, so I was a little self conscious about how my stomach looked in this one. I'm also not a huge brown fan - if this had been a solid color like black or red, I probably would have kept it.

Lemay Dress, Paige Denim, $238.

This dress was such a pleasant surprise! Honestly, when I pulled it out of the box I thought it was going to be a shapeless bag, but the elastic waist gives it a really cute shape. With the sleeves fully extended, it really didn't do too much for my frame, but I like it with the sleeves pushed up. The fabric is really light and airy as well; I could definitely see myself sipping some rosé by the beach in this dress! It's in my "probably keeping" pile right now.

Aniya Surplice Silk Minidress, $298.

This dress is *so* me. It's another one I'm trying to justify keeping, even though I have 50,000 black dresses. The silk is super soft and the shape is so modern. The fabric - and wrinkles - might be a little annoying to fight on a trip, especially since I'm stuffing everything in a carry on, but this would be a great transition piece into fall. Please talk me out of it. Or don't.

Noelle Tiered Chambray Dress, Rails, $158.

I normally really like Rails clothing, but I'm pretty sure I had this dress as a child. Cute for someone, but hard pass from me.

Syrah Floral Print Cold Shoulder Top, Tularosa, $168.

Fun fact, Tularosa is my Pokemon trainer name on Pokemon Go. ANYWAY, there's a lot going on with this top. I actually liked it a lot, and would 1000% buy if I were attending The University of Texas. It's super soft and the detailing is really pretty, I just knew I wouldn't get as much wear out of it as I'd like since it's a little too shouldery for the office.

Shake It Off Decon Short, BlankNYC, $88.

Jayme has a spiritual gift for finding great shorts. These are truly so comfy and stretchy that I would wear them all the time. The top of my thighs did seem to want to eat them a bit so they might not be the best fit for my body, but I know someone out there would absolutely love them.

Asymmetrical Shift Dress, Leith, $65.

Cuter than I expected! I love the color and it's super light and breezy. Just a little too hung up on those other two dresses to throw this one in the mix too, even though it's a great price.

Keyhole Tank, Lush, $35. Pucker Up Frey Hem Short, BlankNYC, $68.

Loved both of these items, just no room for them in my closet! BlankNYC must just make great shorts, because these were just as comfy as the other pair. I do think these fit my body a little bit better, but I already have black cutoffs so we had to part ways. The keyhole tank was very cute too, but the last thing I need in my closet is another black tank. Great price though - just $35 - plus it comes in five different colors.

Once again, I am continually surprised by what I get in my trunks. While I didn't end up buying as much this time, I really liked a lot of the items even if they weren't what I needed right now. If you want to try Trunk Club out, please consider using my link to join! I will get a small credit to shop with, which means even MORE TC reviews in the future. The service is FREE for Nordstrom card holders, or $25 if you don't have a card. That $25 styling fee will be applied to anything you purchase, so it feels like free money since you've already paid it and the trunk is risk-free.

2017: The Year Denim Jumped the Shark

"The skinny jean is dead!" declared joyous fashion editors in 2016 (or was it 2015?). Finally, we could ditch those ugly, sensible jeans that looked good with heels or flats, on tall or short, curvy or not, and wear something more EXCITING. Audrey Hepburn never wore a pair of cropped flares, so what did she know about fashion? NOTHING. 

And then, 2017 rolls around and something phenomenal happens...everyone has lost their ever-loving minds. I'm calling it now - denim, as a whole, is officially dead. We are truly living in the darkest timeline.

1. Clear Knee Jeans, $95.

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We thought this was the height of fug. When these jeans hit Topshop's online shelves, they were immediate Buzzfeed fodder. I scoured Pinterest to see if anyone bought these ugly things and guess what?? Nope. No one saw the need to show off their sexy knees. Which, by the way, isn't a thing. Google "ugly celebrity knees" and tell me that people should be wearing clear knee jeans. They're the first thing to go.

2. Clear Jeans. Totally clear. Yep, $210.

Not to be outdone, many companies decided to mass produce jeans that were made entirely of plastic. Never mind that they'd steam up the first time you stepped foot outside in summer! What do you wear under these? I mean, holographic underwear *IS* an inspired choice, but in what world would I be like, "Hey, this is a good idea. I can NOT wear pants while WEARING PANTS. Let's find out which parts of my body sweat the most!"

3. Garter Jeans, $505.

Ever feel like what the world needs is more butts? Me either. I'm blaming West World for the modern chaps vibe.

4. Zipper Jeans, $1870.

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Bathrooms are hard to navigate. Make it easier by putting a zipper on every fabric surface! Who doesn't want a fully unzippable crotch? Bonus: the fit is flattering in the same way the Derelicte collection from Zoolander was feasible. Oh, wait! It basically is now.

5. Patchwork Jeans, $2390.

These are actually the least offensive of the whole group, besides the price. If you've got $2400 burn and a nostalgic yearning for the 90's, you too can be a walking Gucci monstrosity. You'll look amazing at Burning Man. Everyone will envy you, until you cut them off because it's 1000° and you need to barter the bell bottoms for water.

6. Whatever these things are, $575.

DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF WHY. Not only am I perplexed by how these would even stay up without a waistband - is "Pirates of the Caribbean Chic" the next big thing in fashion? Stay tuned.

7. Inside Out Jeans, $209.

Kris Kross'll make you...turn your jeans inside out, because you spilled red wine on them at lunch and don't want anyone at work to think you're an alcoholic. 

Follow up question: Do I put my wallet on the inside?

8. More Ruffle Jeans, $360.

Nothing says, "I'm a functioning adult!" like flamenco denim. Honestly, I was shocked to discover that these were not, in fact, toddler jeans, but pants for a grown woman with $360 she either has to spend or eat whole.

9. Lace Up Jeans, $625.

In the wake of the very popular lace up top from last summer, LACE UP JEANS are the latest thing to hit the streets. I hate these so much, I can't even come up with a joke for them. Talk about needing to tie up loose ends. *badum ching*

10. The Insta-Jorts, $425.

And finally, the pièce de résistance, THE CONVERTIBLE JEAN JORTS. Yes, these Opening Ceremony nightmares pop their legs off so you can prance around in an adult denim diaper. You hear that sound? That's the aliens turning their ships back around and deciding nope, we're not gonna contact Earth after all.

At this point, I should be glad people are wearing pants at all (I'm looking at you, Ariana Grande). If you need me, I'll be over here in my jeggings. And heck yeah, I affiliate linked some of these jeans. If I have to look at these things, I should at least get that 2 cents from you clicking on them. Better yet, if you buy those Gucci jeans, I'll take you out for a drink with the commish.

VIVA LE MOM JEANS!